Blog Archive

We all have a need to feel connected to another human being. Good marriages thrive on communication. Without daily sharing, one partner feels disconnected and alone. Suicides occur when people lose all loving contact with another human being. In our daily friendships, we require connection to each other. The people with whom we eat lunch or work out with, offer us a sense of community that’s vital to mental health and happiness.

But sometimes spouses or friends abuse that connection by using us for their own selfish, personal advantage. Some of us have been ripped off by a “friend” who stole from us to feed her habit. Perhaps we’ve done it to someone else. Any betrayal damages trust, but it also makes it less likely that we’ll offer that gift of connection again. Think about how we treat God and the connection He offers us through the intimacy of prayer. Don’t we often bring our own selfish wish list to our prayers? Don’t we often consider God a sort of Santa Claus and try to make deals with Him? And then we wonder why our prayers never seem to get an answer! Consider what James said about that, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:3 Prayer is not a way to get our wish list completed. Jesus is not our gofer who is just about giving us what we want!

Rather, and more important, prayer is a direct link to the Creator of the universe. He has a plan for our lives, but like most plans, He needs to share them with us. Without our willingness to put aside our selfish concerns and really be quiet and listen to God speaking to us, we’ll never learn what He wants to say to us.

When we pray, let’s connect to God by using our ears first and our mouths second. Let’s keep our motives pure and ask God for the things we need so that we can serve Him.


pigLots of people give God the heave-ho when things in their lives don’t go according to plan. Prayers are sent upward to Jesus asking Him to bless the business, the kids and to watch over their flight when they take off from JFK. We recite a “wish list” for God to tend to as we clamor about thinking of new things for Him to do for us. The trouble is when things we ask for are rejected or our “wish list” doesn’t come to pass, we say good-bye to Jesus.

When we say adios to God because our requests have not been met according to our satisfaction or in our timing, what we have really revealed is that we married God for His money. When we hear that some young babe is dating an 84-year-old wealthy man we arch our eyebrows and say, “Tsk, Tsk…she’s only after his money.” Our contempt for this kind of user relationship is as obvious as bellman holding out his hand for a tip after he has deposited our luggage in the hotel room. But how is the voluptuous gold-digger any different than you and I when we only look to God to get us the things we really want on earth? The answer is “not very much difference…if any.”

When we say we love Jesus but put conditions on that love, we have married God for His money. If we are saying, “I will serve God if I can just get that promotion” or “If I can just get paroled, then I will serve Jesus on the outside” we are worshiping what we want from Him and not the Jesus who gave His life for us, unconditionally.

Those things we want more than Jesus are idols, pure and simple. Anything we place higher on our value list replaces the King of the Universe in our lives. Bargaining with God to get what we want, all wrapped up in high-minded theology and well-spoken prayers is just putting lipstick on a pig. You can dress up a pig, put it in an Armani dress and give it a Chanel bag, but in the end, it’s still a pig.

Our relationship with Jesus must be built on loving Him for who He is, NOT what He can do for us. He has already done the maximum by giving His life. What more do we really need…seriously!

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Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.
    Hebrews 13:3

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
     1 John 3:18

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